Wednesday, November 19, 2008
it's been long since i updated my blog, being emo-ing this few days and couldn't think of what to write. anyone wanna ask me out this friday morning? effy for breakfast or lunch before 3? jun? or maybe anyone? hmm or maybe i shall just self entertain by watching movie at home? effy i want to go out with you soon, i need you =( i have a sudden feel of cutting my hair short, so hair stylist there cut something real short, just like that hair of mine in the past. i need a break, maybe i should take a break off myself during my birthday to de-stress! i just need a day at the beach or do something to let my anger and frustration off. maybe should go punch bag. i am damn angry with myself! i wanna kill myself, i don't want this anymore.
P.S: you asked me not to give up on you but i think it's think i shall just let go and things will be fine for you. you wont have to think about me when i let go, you can do things the way you want without me restricting you. you can just go anywhere, everyday can go places you wanna go, even saturday will also be free to go out with your others friends and not stucking yourself with me. i am just tying you up and taking away your freedom. maybe your parents are right, it's just the wrong time we started and stuff like that. we shouldn't have started cos w/o me, you can go out with anyone without caring about my feeling, in the sense, there's no restriction for you. maybe right now, there's a much better girl out there you can be with for example, i dont have to say that out i guess. maybe the one she likes might be you just that she didn't tell you cos she doesn't dare and using other people as an excuse. maybe i let you go can give you the blessings for you and her. hmm i know you wont want it, but i am just not giving the life you want for yourself if i am around with you. you dont have to change for me, so i guess, even how hard we worked hard, there's no chance we can be a sweet couple anymore. i did my best but i cant. i failed as a gf of yours so i rather i give that chance for others than keeping you to myself. your happiness is with others not me. i know i am giving you the idea of giving up, but the final decision lies with you ba. if you think there is still a possibility of saving this relationship now, then maybe we shall try even harder. but if trying even harder didn't help, i guess i am just not the right person for you ba. people think i am at wrong, so maybe it's just my fault for controlling you too much. we shall balance between friendship and relationship but then i guessed i am just not being fair to you and keeping you away from going out with someone you want to go out with. it's though like i am keeping you to myself which i think i am perfectly not suitable for you. you are someone who needs your freedom and i am someone who already has what you done. maybe changing someone is better than me ba. hmm that's all i got to say. reply me asap when you see this ba. sorry for giving you such an unpleasant first love. maybe it's just time le..
Posted by Kristen at 2:01:00 PM
