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Monday, March 9, 2009
Happiness was controlled by ourselves and sometimes stimulated by others or events. My happiness was not controlled by me, it's all stimulated by others and events that happened. When others are happy, i will be happy, but that doesn't apply to events. Although things that had happened in the past, it will still stimulate my feelings. Even though you said it was all over, in the past already, no point thinking of it. And you said you know your mistake, but u never tell me you regretted doing so. After what u told me just now, i realised other has touched your heart earlier than i do. But u chose me base on your institution. The reason why i didn't let you know during secondary school is i fear this type of thing will happen. Because you are simply too close to people and cause them to like you unknowingly. This is what happened. If you have a chance to make a choice once again, will you still choose me or others? I don't know. I brought many unhappiness to you. I can't promise you anything now. I am really sorry. "Letting go" was one of my decision when i saw those things again and recalling what had happened. But i chose not to, cause i know i will be very miserable making that choice. I really wish that I can be brain washed now, erasing all the things i saw and heard from you. I know you said this issue won't happen again. I believed. Truly believed. But the shadow will always be around. Maybe like what my mom said, i am mentally unbalanced now. Maybe i should really go and visit a psychiatrist. I think it's getting very serious already.
Lacking of sleep Cried easily Insecure
Thinking too much Too suspicious (but what i suspect was correct eventually) Get irritated easily with small issue Easily jealous over something that i shouldn't be Living in the past still Only memories of hurt
Posted by Kristen at 10:52:00 PM
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