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Wednesday, April 1, 2009
i am on the verge of breaking down today, i totally lost the person who i used to be. the confidence in me was just fading away till i could not make clear if i am really on the right track of my life. i am like pushing all the blame to myself when i know clearly i am only partly at fault. but thanks baby for always giving the support that i need. i know being someone doesn't have to really cared about what others think or say about us, but still sometimes those critics is too hurting to be heard or accepted. I am breaking down because of some critics that i had heard and fear of hearing more. that's why i am very afraid of disappointing people who i promised to. or just merely say that i will help them to do things. i know i need to pull myself up to the person who knows clearly who she is and is confident enough to do things in her own way that will benefit herself and others. i know that giving private tuition is not an easy task like what others think it would be. there's always stress factor(s) in every job and in this career would be the thinking of the parents and the results of the students. but the thinking and inference of the parents are always based on the students results. and this will cause a big misunderstanding is the student didn't do very well. i know it's partly my fault as a tuition teacher for now giving them enough exercise to practice on, but time is also a factor. i only have like 2 hours per week to teach them things that is being taught in school that last for week(s). and it also based on the students ability to take in what i have been teaching in that 2 hours. i always do recap at the beginning of each lesson before i start on the topic of the day. the students have to just do their part too, because they are the main factor of scoring good results for themselves. if they do not push themselves hard enough, i can't do much because i am there to help and not spoon feeding them with answers and helping them to take examinations. When i am giving tuition, i will always asked them if they do understand before i process to the next sub topic, and it's only when they said they are clear then i moved on. i tested them again and again, telling where are their mistakes, but they did not improve, making the same mistakes week after week. What am i suppose to do now?After a talk with baby, i felt must better. But the issue is still not yet solved. Still, i need to thanks baby for sacrificing your sleeping time to talk to me on the phone for a short while so that i could sleep peacefully without thinking too much. And you boost up my confidence in myself slightly but i know there's still a long way to reach the past me, full of confidence CY
Posted by Kristen at 10:15:00 PM
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